August 24
Rubber Dollar Bill Y'all
Today's event-at-the-bar:
As most bars do, our bar has a vending machine that has those 'erotic toys and novelty condoms' in the bathrooms. Most of the time, it's groups (or gaggles, as I call them) of women who attack this machine and come out of the restrooms with handfulls of odd little snarky items that have to do with nookie. Most of the things are quite entertaining, and for the 50 cents, it brings a large amount of drunken hilarity. There was one time when a woman put her quarters in and it spit out those 'press on' tattoos, but these went about where Janet Jackson's star was placed during her 'unveiling.' This woman came out, with her shirt pulled up to her chin, asking everyone what they thought. Hehehe. Anyway, back to tonight. So tonight a group of my regulars came in, and after a few rounds, decided that it was time to insert their quarters into the fun machine and see what comes out. The standard version of weird stuff came, of which they showed off every time I came to refill their drinks. When it came time for the bill, one lady asked me if she could write a check. Now, usually, we don't accept checks (for obvious reasons), but I figured that they didn't have enough cash and they were regulars, so I'd let it fly. I noticed a pile of cash on the table, along with something odd (but I couldn't tell what it was, from where I was standing), as they left. I walked over to the table, and there it was. A rubber check (literally - an oversized condom with a check design stamped on it), filled out with my name and the amount of her bill. Inside my 'rubber check' was a note from the patron, "gotcha," which was wrapped around a wad of money.